surrender

This has been my lesson: to surrender daily, all that I am, all that I have and all that I want to Him.  For His will, His timing, and His good.

We leave in five days to pray over the adoption, the finances, the procedure, the babies themselves. We are seeking His will and timing. All of the tiny details are not recorded, but I did my best to document them so that we would have something to look back on to remind us.

Thanks for reading!

more of the story

so where were we?  ah, at the choosing of the embryos.  We chose the profile after a weekend couples retreat at Snowbird - what a great place, btw.  I called the doctor's office the following monday to pay our deposit on the babies.  We had 1000 in savings b/c of doing Financial Peace University, and I never thought that I found comfort or security in money. Let's face it - in an emercengy $1000 will not help you much.  The deposit was exactly that, and knowing that these were the babies meant for us, we faithfully paid the deposit.  As soon as the payment was sent, I had a physical reaction like I had never had before. I became jittery, slap-happy and was quickly convicted that I did indeed find some security in money, not God alone. 

So, there we were with nothing left, stepping put on faith and trusting God. I received a phone call the next morning from a friend, who said that she and her husband felt lead to help us financially for the adoption. I was amazed at His perfect timing!  We had a tiny garage sale and within six days of paying our deposit, God had restored over half of our "emergency fund."

I scheduled an exam to determine if I would be able to carry the babies for that next week. This is normal protocol, even if youhave crried babies in the past.  During the exam, they found a cyst on my ovary and a polyp in my uuterus. Neither was a health risk, but needed to be resolved before the transfer(which is the term for the implantation procedure). The doctor sent me home with a prescription for the pill and wanted to repeat the procedure in a month.

I was sad, but knew that this would be worked out gy God according to His timing.  Long story short, I returned in one month and the cyst was resolved and he didn't see the polyp. Ryan and I were dumdfounded.

Decide for yourself- is there a God out there that holds your life and every minute detail in His hands, or is it all one big coincidence?

So we wait and pray for His timing on the transfer

waiting...

We sit, we wait, we wait on God. My tendency is to hear from God a tiny piece of His plan- then do everything in my power to accomplish it - meanwhile screwing up the whole situation. This time, we are trying so hard to not screw up God's perfect story through the process.  I was telling a friend the other day that I want my babies so badly, that my belly feels empty. We talk about them, to keep us focused and are trying not to overlook how God has been working through this whole process. We have planned a weekend to go away and pray, fast, and seek God's will for the financial provision of the embryo transfer.